Flashback: An Elegy for Mitt

Reprinted here, a limerick I composed in tribute to Mitt Romney and his thwarted 2008 presidential bid, originally posted as a blog comment on The New Republic‘s website Feb. 7, 2008. Why? Beats the hell out of me. Inspiration takes odd forms sometimes.

There once was a candidate named Mitt
With the right, he never quite fit
Though he wore many faces
He won none of the bases
And his prospects turned quickly to shit.

He spent and he spent very hard
Played pro-life and bigotry cards
Though perfectly coiffed
Voters thought he was soft
And he found himself feathered and tarred

He said, “Double Guantanemo Bay!
Lock all those terrorists away!
And kick out Mexicans, to boot,
Then some varmints we’ll shoot!”
Still his chances have faded away

There once was a candidate named Mitt
Whose teeth were so white that they lit
By Brooks Brothers clothed,
By evangelicals, loathed
Now finally, the bullet he’s bit.

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